6 Break Up Letter Templates (Wording Examples)

There comes a time when ending a relationship is the best option for a couple. However, executing a breakup can be emotionally, mentally, and physically painful and exhausting. Actually, most people prefer face-to-face confrontation when their relationship is coming to an inevitable end. Although breaking up in person may seem fair and reasonable, it may create an awkward and harsh environment for the involved parties.

Therefore, drafting a break up letter can be an effective and efficient way of ending a relationship without getting involved in unwanted arguments. In most cases, the letter is considered therapeutic to the one writing it. It allows you to express your emotions and feelings without getting interrupted.

Additionally, the letter lets you speak your mind as it helps relieve the breakup pain. Note that it is pivotal if you want your partner to understand why your relationship ended. You might not have the right words for the letter, but once you start writing it, your emotions will guide you and help you close this chapter.

Fact Check: According to the British Journal of General Practice, you can avoid recalling and experiencing hurtful memories. You can write down your thoughts and express your emotions through the letter. Research shows that writing a break up letter helps to relieve stress and helps you develop positive thoughts, which in turn fastens your healing process.

Given below are break up letter templates:

This article will discuss writing a letter to break up with your loved one, the elements you should include, the factors to consider before writing, and the tips to keep in mind when writing. It will also provide you with a breakup letter template to ease the writing process.

A break up letter can be effective depending on the nature of the break up or how you feel. However, before writing this letter, here are things to consider to ensure you write a proper and detailed break up letter:

Analyse if you need to write a letter

A break up letter can be considered if you and your lover have been together for a short time. The letter can explain everything regarding the break up, given that you had not formed a deep connection with your ex-partner. Furthermore, you can use the letter to terminate a relationship if you and your partner are in a long-distance relationship. In this case, the letter is the most efficient way to communicate your thoughts and express your emotions.

Nevertheless, writing a break-up letter is the best option if you have a violent or hostile partner. This will prevent you from encountering an awkward environment. The letter will allow you to explain why you ended the relationship and give closure and a chance to heal and move on.

Consider other options

Usually, a break up requires you to ask your partner questions and answer any questions they may have. However, this may be difficult if you write and send a break up letter. As a result, you should consider other options before opting to write a break up letter. Therefore, meeting with your partner and talking will allow them to see your non-verbal cues, like facial expressions. This will allow them to understand your feelings and your point of view.

Note that you can schedule a meeting with your partner a few days after the break up. Conversely, if writing a break up letter is your only option, you can give your partner a platform where they can share their concerns and grievances. Lack of closure and clear communication can make your partner afraid of starting and committing to a new relationship. 

Decide how to deliver the letter

Once you have completed the letter, finding the right way to deliver it is important. The delivery option selected should be respectful to your ex-partner. Therefore, you can deliver the letter in person if your ex-lover lives or works near you.

On the other hand, you can email the letter. This is a convenient and effective way if you don’t want to meet and interact with your partner. Additionally, you can mail a hard copy of the letter if you have the address of your partner. After mailing the letter, you can inform your partner of your decision so that they can be emotionally and mentally prepared for when they receive the letter.

Following are the essentials to include when preparing a break up letter:

State the letter’s intent

The opening statement in the letter should clearly communicate the purpose of the letter. Note that you should be mindful of your partner’s emotions and show respect throughout the letter. The message conveyed in the letter should be clear to avoid giving your partner false hope of reviving your relationship.

The letter should be precise and brief if possible. However, the letter can be long if you have many emotions to express. The preciseness of the letter should prevent your partner from any confusion regarding the state of your relationship. 

For example:

I am writing this letter to officially inform you that I am ending this relationship since it has become too complex to maintain.

Explain the specifics

A break up letter is supposed to make it easy for you to explain why you have ended the relationship. However, this is a hectic process, given that you and your partner were emotionally, mentally, and physically invested in the relationship. Therefore, state the reason for the break up in a calm and respectful manner. 

It is advisable to provide them with many details to ensure they completely understand your decision. Moreover, to avoid confusion, you can clearly outline why you leave the relationship. Additionally, discuss how the mentioned reasons make you feel and why you deem a break up the best option for you and your partner.

For example, this section of the break up letter can be structured as follows:

Your family has caused me so much pain with their constant and repetitive mention of your ex. They keep on comparing me to your ex, inviting her to family functions and mentioning that she is better for you than I am. I am deeply hurt by their statements and your failure to defend me or stop them. This is why I am choosing to leave this relationship for good.

Specify what is next

After explaining why the relationship has ended, you can state the next step for you and your ex-lover. In most cases, most people usually discontinue all ties after a break up. However, you can choose to remain friends. Note that you can suggest an effective way of ensuring everyone gets a share of mutually owned items like pets, assets, or who gets custody of children.

If you don’t want to remain friends with your ex-partner, you can block all means of communication between you two. However, if future contact is inevitable, you can suggest ways in which you two can communicate.

For example:

Based on my relationship with your family, I am choosing to cut ties with them and you completely. I want us to meet once more and agree on sharing our items and properties before leaving each other’s lives. I am willing to meet at your terms and convenience.  

Thank them for the memories

Every relationship is unique and has its pros and cons. Therefore, to avoid unnecessary hatred and further emotional damage, you can show them that you appreciate the time and effort they dedicated to making the relationship last for as long as it did. Also, thank them for the life lessons, the good and the bad memories you shared.

Note that this is an effective way of giving them a chance to heal and move on. Additionally, this reminds you that the relationship made you a better person regardless of it coming to an end.

For example, this section can be illustrated as shown below:

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for our lovely relationship during the two years we have been together. You have been loving, kind, and whole-hearted, and I appreciate you for the memories.

Close the letter positively

It is crucial to end the letter with positive remarks. This will make your partner know they are important to your life story. Also, you can wish them luck with their future endeavors in hopes that they will meet their perfect partner.

This will make them feel valued and appreciated even though the relationship is over. As a result, it will be easy for them to set you free and move on with their lives. Therefore, remaining calm and kind throughout the letter is necessary.

For example:

I hope we can both find ways to move on from this relationship. You are a great person, and wish you all the best in your future plans. Goodbye, Mark! 

Sample Break Up Letters 

Here are samples that will guide you on how to craft a perfect and effective break up letter:

In a long-distance relationship

When I started this relationship, I was convinced I could comfortably handle all the challenges of a long-distance relationship. However, recently I have found it hard to cope with constant overthinking of what you might be doing in my absence. The distance is too much for me at the moment. I hope you understand why I have to end our relationship. I treasure and appreciate every moment and the memories we shared together. I wish you all the best.

When you are in an abusive relationship

When I first met you, I thought I had found my soulmate. Unfortunately, I was wrong. I have endured mental, emotional, and physical pain for a long time, and I cannot do it anymore. I hope no one goes through what you have put me through. I am leaving you. Please don’t look for me or contact me. Bye!

When you both have different future plans

For all the time we shared together, you made me a better person. You gave me unconditional love and showed me sweet memories. However, I don’t think that we are aligning when it comes to our future. Our career goals and desires seem to be causing conflicts. I believe going our separate ways is the best option right now. You are an amazing person, and I appreciate every memory we shared.

I wish you the very best in your future.

When you cannot get along with your partner’s family

When I started loving you, I knew I had to ensure that you also felt accepted and loved by my family. However, the same cannot be said about yours. If you have noticed, your family and I often don’t get along. It hurts to know that as much as you love me, your family will never accept or appreciate me. I love you so much. But I think it is best if we go our separate ways.

I wish you a happy life.

When your partner has cheated on you

You are an amazing person. But you broke my trust and love for you by cheating on me. As much as I love you, I don’t think I can endure any more emotional damage from you. I am walking away from this relationship because I can no longer fight for you or our love. I wish you happiness and love in your new relationship. Bye!

• It is important to remain calm and polite throughout the letter. Being rude and aggressive will cause further emotional and mental damage.
• A break up letter is crucial and effective if you are in a long-distance relationship. It also applies when you have an abusive or aggressive partner with whom you cannot interact peacefully.
• In the letter, clearly outline the reasons why you are ending the relationship. Also, in the letter, you should acknowledge and accept all your mistakes, if any.
• Use the letter to appreciate your ex-partner for their love and all the memories you shared. Also, appreciate them for the time and effort they dedicated to ensure the relationship lasted for as long as it did.
• State the next step for you and your partner after the break up. This will clarify if you will remain in contact as friends or if you will completely discontinue all communications.
• You can use a template; this makes it easier for you to draft a detailed and effective break up letter.